EVERY CLOUD.....................

..................... has a silver lining, and I have just found mine.

After months of being out of work, watching hard earned savings dwindling to nothing, just to keep our heads above water, we have come to the point where being property rich and cash poor, the house has gone on the market this week. The wolves are at the door, howling for money we just don't have. I have cried many tears of frustration, desperation and complete and utter sadness at finding myself in this awful position, but at the same time, because of, at times, a debilitating clinical depression, unable to make a positive move. Like a rabbit frozen by fear in the headlights of life. - not the me I used to be.

Problems with aged parents, whom I love to distraction, divided loyalties, guilt by the truckload, and trying to balance the whole lot and trying to appear "normal" outside of my immediate environment.

Well, that's the self-indulgent bit over with. Did I hear a sigh of relief out there? I'd better get to this silver lining before you all die of boredom.

Have you ever had something in the back of your mind, that niggles and wriggles for years on end. It is a thought of "I'd love to do that" and really you think you never will, because it's a huge life change and "other" people do things like that, and you carry on with the drudge of every day life, going to work, paying the mortgage etc. etc. and view "those who dare" with a sigh of envy.

The silver lining has appeared in the form of a 68 feet larch on oak fishing vessel converted to live aboard, complete with a rayburn cooker in the galley and full size bath in one of the bathrooms.

Him Indoors and I have been feverishly reseaching all things maritime, from moorings to courses on navigation.

Instead of paying rent on a house and putting money in the pocket of someone else, this boat will be bought for cash and will be our home. A total life change that has it's pitfalls (I'm not going into this with rose tinted glasses), but it will never be the life again of a hamster in a wheel with the government waiting in the wings to take as much of away from you as it can.

I am going to enjoy my life, earn money from the experience and have a freedom that is known to few people. All it takes is the guts and the determination to make a leap, and I have not felt so brave and determined for a long long time.

I feel another blogsite coming on.

Kats :0)