Saturday, April 07, 2007

RE-DIRECTION

After all that has happened over the last 2 years, now I think I can go in a sensible direction, from a blogging point of view. Why? Read on.

For the last two years my Mother had suffered from dementia. Tragic, but sometimes amusing but in the main, tragic. I have travelled once, maybe twice a month down to my parents house in Derbyshire (a 1000 mile round trip for me) to support and help my Father. Who incidentally deserves a medal for what he has had to put up with.

When she first lost the plot my Father was in hospital and although her memory was bad enough for her not to be left alone I was called down because she had become violent. Off I went, having just found a new job after 6 months redundancy.

Looking back I think that week was probably one of the worst of my life. I had to have her sectioned and then tell my Father, on his sickbed what I had done. I felt like a criminal and her resounding shout of "You traitorous bitch" rang in my ears for a long time, and still does.

I lost my job because of the situation, and nearly my marriage into the bargain. I spent nearly a month down there wheeling my father from his ward up to the Psychiatric ward every afternoon, until he was allowed home, and of course eventually she was stabilised under a "chemical cosh" and came home too.

In the middle of all this we decided to cut our losses, make some profit and buy the boat.

That is when I started to blog - out of insanity, under the influence of anti-depressants and sheer bloody anger.

So, I lost my mother 2 years ago really. She did not really know who I was again and my every visit subjected me to a tirade of abuse, jealousy if I spoke to my father, and left me feeling hurt, rejected and unbelievably sad.

I'm not really coming to the point here, am I. I'm also not sure I should be writing about this.

My blogging has been sporadic at best, and I've found it quite hard to keep writing, which is something I love to do.

If Channel four wanted to find a bunch of people for a reality show - ie. the token gay, the alchoholic, ex SAS, french people, a judge, an ex pilot, an obsessive compulsive - and I could go on and on with this list they could not do better than a marina of live aboards and part time boaters.

So I am doing away with the other blog - THE OWL AND THE PUSSY CAT - because I never kept it up and it's boring.

I still want to write about the transition we had to this boat and about the people here and have decided to start at the beginning again with a new blog. I have started it as a narrative of letters and e-mails written to my Father and a friend. However, it's done under a new email address, for obvious reasons.

If you want to read it - e-mail on the address given on this blog and I will give you the address if you are not a relative and don't live in this boat yard.

Now I shall worry that no-one will e-mail me.

Kats ( not too sad any more).

Sunday, March 04, 2007

UNTITLED

My Mother died yesterday morning.

I feel about 5 years old again

Sunday, January 28, 2007

DANGEROUS NUMBERS


Don't you find that when you think you've got life sussed, cracked it, starting to enjoy it even. Something will always come along and bite you up the ass and give you another effing wake up call.
God forbid (and obviously she does) that we should sail (no pun intended) through our lives doing no harm to others where we can possibly help it, and glide into old age with a smile on our faces before everything stops working and we shuffle off this mortal coil.
Oh no, you have to suffer the indignity's of "bits" going south, "things" being removed. Over the last hundred years or so I have lost a kidney, a womb, an ovary, a set of appendix, a couple of ribs, and a large chunk of my bowel.
Not that long ago I was lying on a treatment couch surrounded by people, and having a camera shoved up my ass, for the umpteenth time in the last 5 years, and having banal conversations as if having a pipe the size of a fully grown python searching for food up my jacksie was an every day occurrence and of course, I couldn't feel a thing (yeah right!). Why would I worry that a male aged no more than 15 was manipulating it, and had full view of my rear end in all it's glory. I could go on for aeon's about the laxatives you have to take the day before but I won't. I think by now you should get the picture.
I think I should get to the point.
To be the do-ee, the person who is receiving the treatment, is easier than being the do-er. The do-ee has too much to deal with on a daily basis for hand wringing, worry etc. You just have to get on with it, get past it, and get on with life after indignities and missing organs.
Yes, yes I know. I'm getting there.
Mr. Kats is now in possession of dangerous numbers. 8.9 cholesterol and high blood pressure. So now I'm on the other end and worrying. Buying low cholesterol cook-books, changing the food we eat and every 5 minutes scrutinising the colour of his face. This morning I even checked to see if he was breathing. Paranoid? Who me? Never!
Angry is what I am, that someone I love is in potential danger. I want it, so he doesn't have to deal with it and the fear that goes with it.
I do hope however, that he finishes fitting those engine gaskets.
Kats :0(

Monday, January 15, 2007

QUOTE OF THE WEEK


Well I never, George, we would never have guessed.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

PRIVATE EYE FRONT PAGE


Monday, January 08, 2007

SOD SADDAM



On, and on and on and on. Ad nauseum.

Brown condemns it, Bush says the circumstances surrounding his hanging were wrong.

That fat Leech Two jags speaks out.

Snuff movie on the internet - don't watch it then!

What did they expect from people who had been oppressed by this tyrant, been tortured, had relatives go missing? A fond farewell and forgiveness?

If, during this ridiculous war, he had been killed Bush and Blair would have proudly displayed his remains to the world in an act of triumph as they did his sons, when they were killed.

Being shown, on TV the remains of his family after they had been blown up, I found offensive and unnecessary.

Where's the difference you bunch of overpaid, overblown, hypocrites?

Kats

Friday, January 05, 2007

AL GORE FOR PRESIDENT


I always had a sneaking suspicion at the time of the Presedential elections that Al Gore should have won, and that something underhand had robbed him of the presidency.
The fact that he lost that election was probably one of the saddest days for the U.S.A. and no doubt the rest of the planet.
I have just watched his documentary AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH.
It is funny, shocking and above all, thought provoking.
It is presented in a no frills, understandable format and holds you in thrall for the whole 93 minutes.
This should be put on the school curriculum worldwide, and never mind identity cards, issue every household with a copy of this instead, it would be money well spent.
Kats (going off to investigate bio fuels for the boat)