Monday, May 29, 2006


Thankyou Private Eye

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


I’m on a train today on my way to the Midlands – but that is another long story that I’m not going to bore you with.

I’m frustrated – the one thing I miss is having Access to the internet whenever I please.
I heard an ugly rumour that GNER had a Wifi connection on the train so, when I got on it this morning out came the laptop with exited anticipation.. Unfortunately an ugly rumour is all it was. So I sit here hurtling South incommunicardo yet again and smarting with disappointment.

I’m hoping that when I get to a more built up area I might pick up someone’s unsecured network, and serve them right. I’m actually picking up dozens as I go but no signal strength. I need someone who lives on a station platform, but they’re not likely to be hooked up to the ether, more likely just hooked.

So you computer boffins out there – how do I get internet services on a boat, without taking out a mortgage (those days are surely gone) and no, the Marina doesn’t have Wifi – they did, but removed it (aarrrgh). No I do not wish to go and sit in some internet coffee shop.

The other thing that’s missing from my life is getting the newspapers online every morning which denies me my off the cuff rants and raves. Somehow going out and buying one does not trigger the same spontaneity, but I’m really missing having a shot at the Pope (bless him), that Lunatic in the Whitehouse whose name I will no longer speak as I value my nice steady blood pressure reading. And last but not least our Tone of the Blair Witch Party,( whose wife seems to have the hots for the Pope) why is he still there for crying out loud??????? I’m told I’m much more laid back as a result of it. That’s an ugly rumour too, it’s the gentle rocking of the boat.

So, I get onto the blog at work and do my writing in word at home – copy, paste, copy, paste – I’m losing the will to live. Where has Blogger for Word gone? I can’t find it.

I’m worried about Colcam who claims to have been in the toilet for 2 weeks and then posts a picture of a fluffy thing who he claims is a mouse, but it’s spooky, I can’t see it’s eyes. How come a fellow ranter and hater of injustice is suddenly posting pictures of fluffy toys.

Andromeda is posting about Halloween in April – I thought it was in October – perhaps the time frame is different in the Labrynth when you’re threading it.

Lightening is changing the words of old Elvis songs and lamenting old age and relationships – get a grip David. Very, very funny though in an “ouch” sort of way.

Gavin Corder is still thanking whoever is up there that he’s English. Nationalism I fear is the thin end of the wedge. Just a wind up Gavin, but no doubt if you read this I’ll get a lecture.

The Door Steward left his job as a bouncer in a night club and hooked up with his lost love and went all fuzzy. Now he’s talking about wearing stab vests in the next nightclub again! Does this mean he’s mislaid his love again?

The Bearded One aka (Kim Ayres) is still his lovely cuddly self but is beating himself up over giving too much attention to his blog and not enough to his book. Kim it’s still writing whatever you are doing.

Did I miss something?

Maybe a shift in the Earth’s magnetic field maybe?