Saturday, April 07, 2007

RE-DIRECTION

After all that has happened over the last 2 years, now I think I can go in a sensible direction, from a blogging point of view. Why? Read on.

For the last two years my Mother had suffered from dementia. Tragic, but sometimes amusing but in the main, tragic. I have travelled once, maybe twice a month down to my parents house in Derbyshire (a 1000 mile round trip for me) to support and help my Father. Who incidentally deserves a medal for what he has had to put up with.

When she first lost the plot my Father was in hospital and although her memory was bad enough for her not to be left alone I was called down because she had become violent. Off I went, having just found a new job after 6 months redundancy.

Looking back I think that week was probably one of the worst of my life. I had to have her sectioned and then tell my Father, on his sickbed what I had done. I felt like a criminal and her resounding shout of "You traitorous bitch" rang in my ears for a long time, and still does.

I lost my job because of the situation, and nearly my marriage into the bargain. I spent nearly a month down there wheeling my father from his ward up to the Psychiatric ward every afternoon, until he was allowed home, and of course eventually she was stabilised under a "chemical cosh" and came home too.

In the middle of all this we decided to cut our losses, make some profit and buy the boat.

That is when I started to blog - out of insanity, under the influence of anti-depressants and sheer bloody anger.

So, I lost my mother 2 years ago really. She did not really know who I was again and my every visit subjected me to a tirade of abuse, jealousy if I spoke to my father, and left me feeling hurt, rejected and unbelievably sad.

I'm not really coming to the point here, am I. I'm also not sure I should be writing about this.

My blogging has been sporadic at best, and I've found it quite hard to keep writing, which is something I love to do.

If Channel four wanted to find a bunch of people for a reality show - ie. the token gay, the alchoholic, ex SAS, french people, a judge, an ex pilot, an obsessive compulsive - and I could go on and on with this list they could not do better than a marina of live aboards and part time boaters.

So I am doing away with the other blog - THE OWL AND THE PUSSY CAT - because I never kept it up and it's boring.

I still want to write about the transition we had to this boat and about the people here and have decided to start at the beginning again with a new blog. I have started it as a narrative of letters and e-mails written to my Father and a friend. However, it's done under a new email address, for obvious reasons.

If you want to read it - e-mail on the address given on this blog and I will give you the address if you are not a relative and don't live in this boat yard.

Now I shall worry that no-one will e-mail me.

Kats ( not too sad any more).